oelier

In considering the difference between “quitting” and “giving up,” there are some judgmental implications of each.  I approached them, but didn’t actually cross the line and address them in Part 1.  I didn’t want to complicate things too much with a potential hot button interpretation.

In denotative terms, “can’t”,  “cannot”, and “can not” mean that something is not possible.  In today’s connotative terms, however, this phrase and its variants are often used in place of “will not” or “won’t”.  In psychological terms, this is the difference between a passive and an active approach to something.  In social terms, though, it is often either used by those too lazy or timid to be decisive, or it is seen as being too lazy or timid.  Though there is some truth to both social and psychological view points, I think that using “quit” as a substitute for “give up” tends to stem from lazy English.  English is a wonderful language, filled with very subtle shadings and nuances between synonyms that people tend to ignore in favor of convenience.

When speaking with people, we tend to respect those who use “won’t” more than those who use “can’t,” even if we don’t agree.  The term “can’t” shuffles responsibility off onto a situation.  In American culture we tend to respect people, not situations, those who do not take responsibility do not earn respect.

If “can’t” means “I don’t want to take responsibility” and “won’t” means “stopping is my responsibility,” so what?  What does it matter if you don’t want the responsibility?  What’s wrong with not wanting the responsibility?  Nothing.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with declining to take on responsibility for something. (I’m talking, here, about something yet to happen, not taking responsibility for something you have already done.)  The problem is that instead of saying, “I don’t want the responsibility for that,” many people blame the situation and use the situation as an excuse.